Day 8 - 21 Day Challenge. Friendships should be easy

When you're in your teens friendships can be full of angst and are largely based on proximity - who you live near, and go to school with.  Girls argue of their latest crush.  Boys complicate everything.  And everything disagreement can feel like the world is ending.  Passionate - yes, balanced and rewarding - hmmm not always.  In your 20's friendships become more interest based if you're at university or working in your ideal career, but are often filled with idealism & opportunistic.  You dream and talk of making a difference in the world, while taking every opportunity for travel and fun as it comes.  Your 30's change things.  Life is often busier than ever with work, and family.  The importance of things is measured differently.  More time with your partner, and building a family home can impact on the time and energy invested in friends.

I was talking to a girlfriend about this this morning.  We've both experienced a change in our friendships in the last few years.  We've become so busy with our partners & careers that we haven't had the freedom to just drop everything and hangout with our friends.  While we bemoaned this, I've also come to realise that some of the friendships of my early years actually took a lot of hard work. I can see the hours I spent listening to some of my girlfriends talking through their latest breakup or their latest life challenge, telling them that life would get better, but I can't actually remember what else we talked about or we did.  Don't get me wrong - not all my friendships were one-sided, but I suspect that there were more that were like this than not.

Friendship should be easy.  True we should be able to stand with our friends in challenges and walk through the tough time supporting them.  But it isn't always a challenge.  The good times should be very good.  You should be able to laugh together.  Conversation should flow freely.  You should feel free to be just a little bit silly together.  Or in my case, my good friends need to have a high tolerance for me being very silly.  You should be able to laugh and cry together.  You shouldn't have to always look your best.  You shouldn't have to explain yourself (well not ALL the time).  Really good friendship should be like putting on a pair of your favourite jeans.  They are relaxed and easy to wear.  They look good, but more importantly feel fantastic when you're wearing.  They are something you can't bear to part with, and are the 'go to' item in your wardrobe.  Good friends are better than this - because unlike jeans they don't often wear out and need replacing.

Today I'm adding an aspect of thankfulness to my blog post.  To all my friends out there who've let me blow rasberries on their cheeks, have made me laugh to much I cry and love to just hug it out - I love you all.

PS - The beagles (my boo's)  - they are the best of friends. They fight, they play, but at the end of the day they always sleep side by side.